THE LAST TIME

It’s been 3 months since I gave birth, the time when many parents share how sleepless they’ve been, how much everything has changed (and how tiring it is), and how they need a long break from it all. Several times before I gave birth, I would be told to prepare for the worst – zero sleep, consistent crying, etc. etc.

I totally get where these feelings come from, and all those feelings are valid. I mean, the first weeks can make you feel like it’s been a year, but then you realize, it hasn’t even been seven days. The first few weeks made me understand the saying The Hours Are Long, But The Years Are Short.

I must say, Pablo’s been really easy to handle – he smiles and laughs a lot, he can focus for a long time and just be content doing nothing beside us, and he’s been very easy to please ever since.

But of course he is a baby, and babies communicate by crying, and so we have had our share of nights when nothing we did seemed to calm him or fit his needs, and days when he would be crankier than usual (mostly because it’s a leap weak for him, where he would be making major developments). There would be days when I can’t work long enough, or even have time to take a bath, because he would be needing me for something even before I can start my own thing. And then there’s breastfeeding – the challenges for this journey often come and go. Just recently, I rushed myself to the hospital after having an inflamed breast, chills and fever.

But as I’ve shared many times before, reading helps me a lot. I know the benefits of breastfeeding, and that is what keeps me going.

Also, reading the book The Wonder Weeks helps me in understanding what possible developments he’s having at the moment, which results to him developing a new skill (and practicing it). And because everything is new to him, and he’s trying to master something, he may sometimes have a hard time taking it all in and dealing with it, hence, the crying (aka his communication to the world). Knowing what to expect made me understand my child with ease, and see crying with zero dread.

And then, before I gave birth, I stumbled upon this poem, whose author is unknown, and it really stuck to me, so much that I tend to see everything in a positive (and/or sentimental) view.

Our children, they will never stay little (just like us), and oftentimes, I think about how my parents probably
go back in time in their thoughts, and wish there are things they can do to us (or us to them) one more time.

I’m sharing this with you in the hope that it inspires you, and makes you see the light at the end of the tunnel, too!

I can’t promise tears will not be involved, so read when and where you’re comfortable. Hugs, momma!

***

THE LAST TIME

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms, you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before – when you had freedom and time, and nothing in particular to worry about.
You will know tiredness like you never knew before, and days will run into days that are exactly the same:
full of feedings and burping, nappy changes and crying, naps (or lack of), and it might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget…There will be a last time for everything.

There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time.

They will fall asleep on you after a long day, and it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day, you will carry them on your hip, then set them down, and never pick them up that way again.

You will scrub their hair in the bath one night, and from that day on, they will want to bathe alone.

They will hold your hand to cross the road, then never reach for it again.

They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles, and it will be the last time you ever wake to this.

One afternoon, you will sing Wheels On The Bus and do all the actions, then never sing them that song again.

They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate, the next day, they will ask to walk the gate alone.

You will read a final bedtime story, and wipe your last dirty face.

They will one day run to you with arms raised, for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time, until there are no more times, and even then, it will take you a while to realize.
So while you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them.
And when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them…for one last time.

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